און האָבן האָט איין מוטער אונדז געבוירן.
And yet one mother bore us both.
Work 76 of 440
Page 86. Continuation of 'She Weeps' — one mother bore them, yet he is cut off. His tears freeze before reaching his eye. She mourns in new clothes, sits on the floor. At dawn he reads the letter and someone remarks on how artfully the Hebrew letter 'tof' (ת) — first letter of 'toyt' (death) — is written. 'I Am a Two-Shaped One': a devastating sonnet of split selfhood. He is two-shaped, perverted, corrupted. The second self is a dog hunting him, yet also his master, leader, destiny. People see nothing. He hopes God will forgive even 'the wicked one.' 'A Vision' begins: the god of sorrow races toward him in a white fire-wagon.
און האָבן האָט איין מוטער אונדז געבוירן.
נאָר מיך פֿון אייגענע האָט עמעץ אָפּגעשיידט:
און זע: ביז וואַנען צו מײַן אויג אַ טרער דערגייט —
איז זי אין וועג פֿאַרגליווערט שוין געוואָרן.
זי וויינט. זי האָט אַ נײַעם קלייד גענומען טראָגן.
נאָר שטאַרקער איז איר טרויער און איר קלאָגן.
זי זעצט זיך אויפֿן דיל, פֿאַרגעסט זיך אָן דעם קלייד.
די נאַכט פֿאַרשווינדט, אָט הייבט שוין אָן צו טאָגן,
איך לייען ווידער דורך דאָס בריוו און הער, דוכט, איינעם זאָגן:
— דו זעסט, ווי קונציק איז דער „טית
Un hobn hot eyn muter undz geboyrn.
Nor mikh fun eygene hot emets opgesheyt:
un ze: biz vanen tsu mayn oyg a trer dergeyt —
iz zi in veg farglivert shoyn gevorn.
Zi veynt. Zi hot a nayem kleyd genumen trogn.
Nor shtarker iz ir troyer un ir klogn.
Zi zetst zikh oyfn dil, fargest zikh on dem kleyd.
Di nakht farshvindt, ot heybt shoyn on tsu togn,
ikh leyen vider durkh dos briv un her, dukht, eynem zogn:
— du zest, vi kuntsik iz der 'tof' fun toyt fardreyt.
Ikh bin a tsvey-geshtaliker
Ikh bin a tsvey-geshtaliker un a farketer,
ikh bin a tif-fardorbener fun tog un teg,
un keyner zet vi krum es iz der veg
fun mayne trit, fun mayne nit-derzogte verter.
Ikh veys: der tsveyter iz in mir an oysgekerter,
a hunt, vos yogt nokh mir aleyn zikh in geyeg:
mir dukht zikh oft: er iz mayn eyntsiker farmeg,
er iz mayn har, mayn firer, mayn basherter.
Zol zayn azoy. Di mentshn zeen say vi nit,
un ikh hob zikh shoyn tsugevoynr tsu krume trit,
vel ikh a tsugevoynter vayter azoy lebn:
nor gleybn gleyb ikh dokh, az got, vos hit
dem tsadiks veg, vet oykh zayn getlekhn gemit
nit opkern fun mir, dem roshe un — fargebn.
A zeung
In der nakht ikh ze a zeung:
iber gas un iber moyer
in a vaysn fayer-vogn
yogt tsu mir der got fun troyer.
And yet one mother bore us both.
But me from my own someone has cut off:
and see: before a tear reaches my eye —
it has already frozen on the way.
She weeps. She has begun to wear a new dress.
But stronger is her mourning and her lament.
She sits down on the floor, forgets about the dress.
The night vanishes, dawn begins to break,
I read through the letter again and hear, it seems, someone say:
— You see how artfully the 'tof' of death is twisted.
I Am a Two-Shaped One
I am a two-shaped one and a perverted one,
I am one deeply corrupted by day and days,
and no one sees how crooked is the way
of my steps, of my unspoken words.
I know: the second one in me is a cunning one,
a dog that chases after me in the hunt:
it often seems to me: he is my only possession,
he is my master, my leader, my destined one.
So let it be. People don't see anyway,
and I have grown used to crooked steps,
I, grown used, will go on living so:
but believe I do believe that God, who guards
the righteous one's way, will also his divine spirit
not turn from me, the wicked one, and — forgive.
A Vision
In the night I see a vision:
over street and over wall
in a white fire-wagon
the god of sorrow races toward me.
Page 86. Continuation of 'She Weeps' — one mother bore them, yet he is cut off. His tears freeze before reaching his eye. She mourns in new clothes, sits on the floor. At dawn he reads the letter and someone remarks on how artfully the Hebrew letter 'tof' (ת) — first letter of 'toyt' (death) — is written. 'I Am a Two-Shaped One': a devastating sonnet of split selfhood. He is two-shaped, perverted, corrupted. The second self is a dog hunting him, yet also his master, leader, destiny. People see nothing. He hopes God will forgive even 'the wicked one.' 'A Vision' begins: the god of sorrow races toward him in a white fire-wagon.
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